Frustration With Fat Loss Timelines

Philip Pape 0:02

Are you frustrated because your fat loss isn't happening as quickly as you expected ? You're tracking , you're training , you're getting your protein , but the scale isn't budging fast enough . Today we're uncovering why the most critical skill for sustainable fat loss is not what you eat or how you train . It's something far more powerful that most people completely overlook . Without this skill , you're almost guaranteed to abandon your efforts prematurely and end up right back where you started . But when you develop it , you unlock a completely different approach that transforms quick-fix weight loss into permanent fat loss . Welcome to Wits and Weights , the show that helps you build a strong , healthy physique using evidence , engineering and efficiency . I'm your host , philip Pape , and today I want to talk about the critical role of something that many people don't have . Many people need to cultivate something that I didn't have for many , many years and I finally learned to develop , and that is the P word patience . This is not something that you're going to hear from someone trying to sell rapid results or overnight before and after transformations . Those quick fixes are exactly why so many people find themselves in perpetual weight loss cycles , where they lose and regain , and lose and regain the same weight over and over . Today we're going to talk about why patience isn't just a virtue . It is the essential skill that makes sustainable fat loss possible . Whether you're starting your journey today for the very first time the right way , or you've been stuck in a frustrating yo-yo cycle of quick results followed by the inevitable rebound , this episode will give you some of those practical strategies for developing this mindset that we need for lasting change , because , yes , it is a skill and yes , you can develop it Now , before we dive in . If you want to stop this cycle of temporary weight loss and instead build a system for permanent fat loss , I invite you to check out my semi-private coaching program called Wits and Weights Physique University . My team and I there provide personalized nutrition guidance , accountability , a supportive community that helps you master this exact patience-driven approach that we are discussing today . One of our members , nadine , recently shared quote the program has helped me reframe how I look at weight loss . Instead of fighting the process and suffering through it , I'm embracing it with less judgment each day . End quote . And Nadine , if you're listening to this , you know that when you started with us , even the idea of tracking was just a terrible thought , and I know you wanted to get that result and weren't sure quite how to get there and you are a winner because you embraced the process and now are a great example , and even a mentor , to others going through this . So if this sounds like what you're looking for , visit witsandweightscom slash physique or click the link in the show notes to learn more and join us . You'll get two weeks free . Your first challenge free . Kick the tires If you don't like , you can cancel . If you do , I hope you'll stick around . And again , that's witsandweightscom slash physique or click the link in the show notes .

Philip Pape 3:22

All right , so let's get into today's topic on the most critical skill for sustainable fat loss , and I want to break it down into three

The Impatience Traps That Sabotage Results

Philip Pape 3:30

sections . First , we're going to talk about the common impatience traps that sabotage your effort to lose fat , so that you're aware of them . Second , we're going to talk about why patience is the foundational skill , not training , not nutrition . That is all , quote unquote , easy to do once you have patience . Patience really is that important that makes fat loss possible . And then finally , of course , practical strategies to develop patients during this journey . So let's start by talking about the impatience traps , and I've worked with lots of clients who , when we get started , the first few weeks can be very difficult because we are not just jumping right into fat loss .

Philip Pape 4:13

And if you want to work with me , if you want to get real , meaningful , sustainable fat loss , just know you're not going to see a drop in the scale in the first month and the reason you're not is intentional . We are trying to set up your system . We are getting you training effectively , we're getting you tracking your food , your measurements , your photos , your biofeedback , all of the things . So we have a good baseline , so we know where you actually stand and then we know your true starting point for the fat loss phase . Well , what happens sometimes with my clients is they'll understand that for the first few weeks and then they'll start their fat loss phase , maybe four or six weeks , in sometimes eight weeks depending on how ready they are . And they're doing all the things they're training , they're tracking , they're staying on top of their habits , they're getting the step count .

Philip Pape 4:58

But then inevitably I get the message that says I'm so frustrated , the scale's not moving . We're already four weeks into the 16 week fat loss phase and I'm just struggling . I feel like I'm doing everything right and it's not working Right , and you could feel the underlying impatience in these messages . I take it personally , it's that sense of I should be further along or this should feel easier by now . And my clients are not alone in this . This is incredibly common and probably one of the most common frustrations of all , especially when you're conditioned to think about weight loss , specifically the scale moving , and it moving fairly quickly . So what I want to do is lay out the impatient traps that anyone can fall into , including my clients , when they get started with me , even after we have the conversation , even when we set expectations , and I have to be there for them to make sure that they can push through that mental roadblock and start reframing this into a process , into a sustainable system .

Philip Pape 5:58

And the first impatience trap is you got it expecting the scale to move quickly and consistently , because when you're eating in a deficit , you might think the scale should drop predictably every week . In fact , I usually give my clients a simple little graph that shows them if they start at this point and things go well at a certain rate of loss . They're going to get at this point roughly around this time . But I also have a bunch of caveats . Like it never actually goes that way . It can go up and down . There are things that are going to challenge you along the way , that I'm going to be there to support you through , and at the end of the day , we are going to get you the result . But we'll have done it the right way , while developing your system that will allow you to do it time you want in the future .

Philip Pape 6:43

Because weight loss is not linear . Your body regulates fluid retention , your hormones fluctuate , we've got metabolic adaptation that happens when you're losing weight . All of these things can conspire to mask fat loss on the scale for days or even weeks , especially when you get started . It's a transition . Your body is fighting your desire to drop energy and so it might hold on to more fluid . Or you could be training harder than you ever have in your life , especially if you're working with beer . You're going to be training the right way . That's going to cause some inflammation , some glycogen uptake you know glucose uptake some fluid retention that can pop the number on the scale a bit .

Philip Pape 7:22

It's one of those things I'm like man , should I even get people training this quickly and having that effect where they're building muscle and holding fluid but it doesn't look as great on the scale ? And then I always get . The answer always is yes , of course , because training is the number one stimulus to holding onto and building muscle . The second one is going to be how fast you diet or gain , in terms of whether you're able to do that . Going to be how fast you diet or gain in terms of whether you're able to do that . So a lot of things can mask fat loss for a while , and this is why I like trend weight and lots of other factors , because even if the trend weight is not moving but your waist is coming down , that's telling you maybe you're building a little muscle and losing some fat .

Philip Pape 8:00

There's a lot of things that can mask it . And we have to be patient and even if this isn't the right deficit for you , that data will tell us it's not the right deficit . If you're in a true plateau , obviously we want to get through that as quickly as possible and I help people do that with as much data gathering as we have . But it still happens because your body is going to do what it's going to do and if you're measuring against an arbitrary timeline like well , I'm already four weeks in and we're supposed to do this in 16 weeks then you're going to feel like you're falling behind . By the way . This is a reason that I do monthly plans now instead of six month packages , which I literally just made that change not long ago . So I probably have quite a few clients today who came in on paid in full packages and now I do monthly . And the reason I do monthly is I don't want you to feel the pressure of a clock . So any clients listening who are like , oh , how do I do that ? Can I switch to monthly ? Just reach out and talk to me , because I am always transparent with this stuff and you probably have a great deal because you paid ahead of time . But if monthly is better for you , we can do that . Anyway , that's why I do that . So that's the first trap is expecting the scale to move quickly and consistently . It doesn't work that way .

Philip Pape 9:09

The second impatience trap is treating fat loss like a countdown with a fixed end point , right . So again , these comments I sometimes have about feeling the pressure to lose and you haven't lost yet . It reveals that mindset , that conditioned mindset . Your body doesn't care about the timeline , it's going to adapt and it's going to do so at its own pace , based on countless factors your hormones , your stress levels , your sleep quality , your genetics , and these factors are always changing . Your body's always changing , even during fat loss . You are becoming a different person day by day , and so your expenditure , your metabolism is constantly fluxing through that and even though your coach might've said you know what we're going to try for a pound a week and you want to lose 16 pounds , so it's going to be about 16 weeks Again . Go back to impatience trap one . It doesn't always work like that . Sometimes it's faster , sometimes it's slower . Sometimes you need to go more aggressive halfway through or less faster , sometimes it's slower , sometimes you need to go more aggressive halfway through or less .

Philip Pape 10:11

The third impatience trap is expecting perfection instead of consistency . What I mean by that is you are expecting of yourself that you have to do everything perfectly , that you have to get all your protein every day , that you have to hit your calories perfectly , that you have to be perfect that perfectionist mindset which , again , is super common . I have my own tendencies like that . It is a major reason that people abandon their fat loss efforts prematurely because they hit one imperfect week or even day and they decide the whole approach must be flawed , rather than recognizing that consistency over time , which means not perfection every day , but getting something done on that path . As part of that process , getting those wins every day more often than not , is going to matter way more than just a miss in a particular day or a particular week . And for some of you this is a big trap . For others it's not as big of a trap , so recognizing that is helpful .

Philip Pape 11:07

The fourth trap is the expectation that progress should feel easy . This is important because there's too much overselling of how you work with me and I'm going to make fat loss so easy . There won't be any hunger , we're going to do it the right way . We're going to recover your metabolism . Blah , blah , blah . You're going to eat more and you're going to lose weight .

Philip Pape 11:28

All of that messaging is terrible because even though fat loss shouldn't feel miserable 100% agree with that it also isn't effortless and I've probably been accused of using those terms as well in relative terms , but I apologize if it came across as disingenuous because in reality , trying to get enough protein , trying to manage your hunger using meal planning , those all require effort . You know hitting the gym , especially when the calories are low , it requires effort , and the irony , I guess , is which is a really nice irony is that if you're trying to do things in a perfect way like , let's say , you're trying to hit all your protein with just whole foods when you realize later that maybe you can have a couple scoops of whey protein to make it a little bit less difficult on yourself are ways to approach the process efficiently by using some upfront effort to then reduce the friction and the effort throughout the process so , while it's not effortless , you can make it more efficient . That , in fact , is what this show Wits and Weights is all about . It's figuring out all the things you don't have to do , then seeing what's left , working hard on those but to do them as efficiently as possible , like doing heavy squats and compound lifts . That's heavy , it takes effort , but it takes a lot less effort than beating yourself up with cardio and going to the gym seven days a week and stressing yourself out and making the calories harder to hit because now your body has adapted even further right and on and on and on right . That's a different type of hard that I don't wish on anybody , but it'll never feel easy . There's always some work that has to be done and , of course again , as a coach , I love helping people through that to find the thing that they can do most efficiently for their time and take the little bit of effort up front to put that in place , to put that system in place .

Philip Pape 13:19

So these are the four traps expecting linear progress , fixating on timelines , demanding perfection and assuming it should feel easy . And they're the main reasons that I think people abandon fat loss efforts prematurely . And that's why I think it's the most critical skill for fat loss , because otherwise you're just not going to stay the course . And it's not that their approach itself isn't working , it's not that the information is inaccurate , it's that their expectations don't match the reality of how fat loss actually happens . And I suppose you could say that is its own form of information , but some of that information is colored by you as an individual . That's the key .

Why Patience Is The Foundational Skill

Philip Pape 13:56

So then , if those are the traps , why is patient specifically the most important skill ? Well , first , it allows you to make data-driven decisions right . So patience is the antithesis of patient . Patience traps right , and when you're patient you don't overreact to normal fluctuations , you collect sufficient data over weeks , not just days , and then you make adjustments based on trends over time . And then this prevents that all too common cycle of constantly changing your approach and hopping around , whether it's your program or your nutrition or what you're eating before anything has time to work . So if you have the data , it starts to give you that confidence over time and again . I see this with new clients who join my coaching program , where they've tried five different diets in the past year carnivore , paleo , intermittent , fasting , the whole thing and they never stick with any of them long enough to see if they actually work . Or paleo , intermittent , fasting , the whole thing and they never stick with any of them long enough to see if they actually work , or they white knuckle through longer than they probably should , whereas patience breaks this cycle by giving strategies enough time to demonstrate their effectiveness .

Philip Pape 15:01

The second reason patience is so important it enables consistent execution , equals consistent execution . When you understand the natural ebbs and flows , the daily fluctuations , the temporary plateaus , they just don't throw you off . I know every day my weight could be up or down by like three or four pounds and when that happens I look at it and I say that's interesting , check , put it in my app , move on for the rest of the day . Is there a tiny piece in the back of my brain , in my primitive brain , that's still stuck in ? Oh no , if you're trying to lose fat and the scale went up . That means it's not going in the right direction . Sure , there's always that tiny piece of doubt way , way back inside , but I've developed a skill of patience and I know that it's going to work because I've done it four or five times by now . I've helped hundreds of people do it , and it always works if you follow the right process . It may be harder or easier for different people , it may take longer , but it's going to work , and so that motivates you to keep executing the plan consistently , because you recognize these are normal parts of the process . You recognize these are normal parts of the process .

Philip Pape 16:08

Third , patience creates space for developing your habits . Let me say that again Patience creates space for developing your habits . One of the biggest mistakes I see is people trying to change too many habits at once . Now , granted , if you're working with a coach like myself , I will have a list of things that we are going to work on . We don't necessarily hit them all at once , and if we do hit multiple ones , they're in a controlled way , with my support , and as soon as I see there's too much to handle , we strip them away . So there's a balance . There's always a balance . But don't go after too many habits than you can handle . Don't go after too many habits than you can handle . Patience allows you to master one habit at a time , building a sustainable foundation . In my client's case , that might be protein intake , that might be step count , that might be training , and every single one of my clients has one that jumps to the top and then the rest becomes sort of secondary or hey , you know , if we get to that , that's fine , but this is the one we're gonna focus on . And then , once that is in place , it gives you the energy and the space to work on the next one . And patience creates space for that , because you're not expecting to be a master at everything all at once . And then , fourth , is that patience allows for realistic expectations .

Philip Pape 17:26

When you understand that fat loss is full of these ebbs and flows , you know that a reasonable rate is about a half to 1% of your body weight a week , and even that can vary significantly by the person . You know , for someone weighing 200 pounds , that's one to two pounds a week . And then there's going to be weeks with no apparent progress , despite doing everything right , and some weeks where you might achieve double that rate . You just don't know until you see it on the scale over time . And so the interesting paradox here is that people who try to lose fat as quickly as possible usually end up taking longer to reach their goals if they reach them at all because they're going to crash diet . They're going to lose weight rapidly , they're going to lose muscle as well , and then they'll rebound because they are just starving . They can't sustain the approach . They can't stay in such a deficit . Their training goes to heck that's me trying not to swear and they end up heavier than where they started .

Philip Pape 18:22

In contrast , those who have a more patient timeline tend to reach their goals faster . In absolute terms I've said this before the long game is actually the fastest path to success . They lose fat at a moderate rate , they preserve muscle , they learn the sustainable habits and they stick those habits along the way , and then they don't experience this rebound and they're the ones that are successful for the rest of their lives . I've seen this play out every time with my clients . Those who want the fast track okay . They usually end up spinning their wheels for years , and I generally will not even take on a client who seems to have that mentality . Those who commit to the longer journey actually reach their destination , and oftentimes in less total duration , despite the slower pace .

Philip Pape 19:11

So let's get a little bit practical here . How do you actually develop patience ? Because you're listening to all this , you're like that's great , now I'm not a patient person , or I don't know how to be patient . Like it's great for you to tell me , philip , but what do I do ? So I'm going to give you some actual

Five Practical Strategies To Develop Patience

Philip Pape 19:26

strategies . How about that ? We're going to give you five strategies . Hopefully this episode isn't going too long , but here you go .

Philip Pape 19:31

The first strategy is to use appropriate metrics and measurement frequency . One of my favorites because it's related to tracking the right not to care about because of the fluctuations . So instead we're going to track every day , but then we're going to take the trend over roughly a three week period . We're going to take progress photos and circumference measurements weekly , but not necessarily care about each one . We're going to look at that over time . We're going to take your performance metrics in the gym and again , it's not doesn't matter if one day you miss some reps . I mean , I don't want you to miss reps . We're going to try to set things up so you don't miss reps . But if you do , if you have a weaker day , if you have an off day , so what ? We're going to use that data to say okay , next time , here's what we need to . Frequency . And that's a key distinction , because some data points we do track frequently , like scale , weight and food , we're going to track daily , but we don't necessarily care about the daily number . We care about the weekly or twice or thrice weekly trend . My ability to use the word thrice , I was just able to do that .

Philip Pape 20:52

Strategy number two focusing on the process goals rather than the outcome goals . This is a classic . Instead of fixating on I'm going to lose , you know , 20 pounds by this date , I want you to set a goal like I'm going to hit my protein target 80% of the days this month . That's an example of a process goal . And even then you're not , because it's for the whole month . You're not even looking at the day-to-day per se . Over a few weeks you're saying am I on track ? And then you have time to correct , not feeling like it's all or nothing . Another one would be I'm going to train all my training days this week . I'm going to complete all my workouts , I just did them . It's not even about the metrics , just simple ways to get wins based on the process right , and those provide a lot of motivation . They help you build the habits to your desired outcome and , rather than harping on the things that are negative , celebrate the things that are positive and then just continue working on the other things , all right .

Philip Pape 21:51

Strategy number three is creating meaningful milestones that are not just about the scale . You know you can celebrate for anything . You can celebrate when you consistently hit your step goal for a month , right Kind of a streak , when you increase your strength in the gym , when you find sustainable ways to incorporate more protein , like it doesn't have to be even the number itself , the amount of protein , but it could instead be the fact that you found an easy way to get your protein through some sort of snacks or protein shakes , or the timing of your food , or making something you really like that just surprisingly has a lot of protein , like , oh , shrimp , I didn't realize that was just pretty much all protein . And these reinforce , these meaningful milestones , reinforce that progress comes in lots and lots of forms . I mean practically infinite forms that you could make for yourself . You could gamify the whole process .

Philip Pape 22:41

One of my clients from a long time ago his name was Elijah and he had a great example of this . He said , quote I see a visible change in how my arms fit in my shirts . I like seeing that I'm filling out these sleeves a bit better . I also like that . I'm noticing that change . I've also made rep PRs in the gym , which is exciting , so he kind of threw that in too . But just the visible change in how arms fit in shirts , it's a meaningful milestone for him .

Philip Pape 23:03

Strategy number four building a support system that understands and values patients . Ah , this is a good one . This is a good one . This is being around people who encourage the patients , as opposed to around people that are all fixated on fast weight loss . You know , like , if you're around all people that are on you know this crash diet or on Weight Watchers , you're going to think like them . But if you're around a coach , a community , friends who get what you're doing , then it's easier for you to also be patient when they're patient .

Philip Pape 23:33

And so the conversations I have with my clients , where I'm able to kind of talk , to all of that lead , so to speak , but also our physique university , where we have a whole slew of people at all different stages of their journey . And what's nice is when a new member comes in they can see from some of the longer term members how they've embraced that process and got the results . And it's really refreshing because they're like oh okay , I know it takes a bit of time and I know I have to put this in place , and doing that I know will also give the result . And when you get that result it's so fulfilling . One of my clients in there , charlene . She said quote I learned that I really do need the support and accountability from a group like this in order to succeed . And Jody said I learned that I do need the support from you and Philip so I don't just keep spinning my wheels , not going anywhere . These are just great examples of the value of accountability for achieving your goals .

Philip Pape 24:24

Strategy number five is to prepare for plateaus in advance . Oh , this is a good one , you know . So here's the thing If you know plateaus are going to happen , if you assume they're going to happen and that they're actually a good thing , they're a normal thing , then don't wait until you're frustrated to figure out how you're going to handle those plateaus , having a plan for what you'll do when the progress stalls , whether it's your weight your training whatever , because it will stall for whatever reason for internal and external reasons can be massively liberating . And this could include reviewing your , say , previous progress photos to see the changes that the scale doesn't show , so that you know , when things don't feel to be changing , they actually are . It could be focusing on non-scale victories and it could be connecting with your support system , reaching out to say what do I do if this happens ? Now , I know you can't anticipate every plateau .

Philip Pape 25:20

Again , it sounds like I'm plugging coaching a lot here , but it's because this is my personal experience . When it comes to plateaus , it's nice to talk to someone who has seen them all , has seen all the plateaus and can help you kind of get ahead of that . So the key thing here is that patience is not passive . It is an active skill . It involves making deliberate choices about how you measure progress , about what to focus on , about who to surround yourself with and how you respond to challenges . And what's nice about that is it's not that I'm asking you to get patience . That's not a thing . You can't just cultivate patience out of nowhere . You do it by taking specific actions and building the skill , and the most patient people I know are not naturally more patient than anyone else . I'm raising my own hand . I can be extremely impatient , but what these people have , and what I've had to have for myself , is a better system . A better system that accounts for the realities realities of whatever .

Philip Pape 26:21

In this case , we're talking about fat loss , but it could be any process , and that means I don't have to rely on willpower . I know what will or could happen and therefore I've got a system to handle it . And so think about what we call patience in the context of fat loss . It's really just proper expectation setting combined with the right feedback mechanisms . That's all it is , and when you know what to expect , when you have appropriate ways to measure progress , then consistency becomes easier , rather than it being something that you just have to find right . I know what to do , I just need to do it . No , that should be the way that we do it . We should have a system , so it just happens , and that's , again , extremely liberating .

Philip Pape 27:01

With this whole thing , you don't need to magically become a more patient person overnight . You just need better systems that allow you to trust the process , and I get that that's difficult when you're doing this the first time , and it takes a while to see some of those results . So that's where you have to lean into some of what I've been telling you today . So when my clients come to me and they're frustrated early on because they're not seeing

Building Systems For Sustainable Results

Philip Pape 27:21

the scale move , first of all I send them an encouraging message . I say something like hey , I see how frustrated you are . That's definitely not where we would hope to be by now . But I'm here to help you and we could adjust your approach to make sure that you have targets that are both easier to hit and refocus on the progress you've already made . Build on that and then also look at areas where we're maybe underperforming whether it's by choice or because that's how your body's responding and then work on those things . Whether it's your training right I'm thinking of a recent client who just needed a training adjustment because she had dumbbells and a TRX system and wasn't able to get to a barbell anytime soon . So I said , all right , let's work with that . Let's just work with that so you get the progress because it's going to be fine .

Philip Pape 28:11

And then when the clients are able to step back and see these little forms of progress that then become bigger forms of progress , and then the real big progress starts to happen in terms of fat loss , the perspective tends to shift over time . So I'm kind of I'm rambling a little bit today and being a little vulnerable . Maybe I'm saying things I should or shouldn't , I don't know . This is just what's in my head . I hope you resonate with what I'm saying , and I want to leave you with a quote from one of my clients who went through this and then a few weeks later she said quote I realized I was too focused on the timeline and not enough on the process . Now that I'm tracking more than just the scale , I can see I'm making real progress and I'm actually enjoying the journey . Her relationship with the process had transformed .

Philip Pape 28:50

When you shift your mindset from how quickly can I lose this weight to how can I lose this fat for the last time , everything changes . The timeline extends , but so does your likelihood of success , and so , at the end of the day , you actually get the results sooner and it's sustainable and ultimately , isn't that what matters . So my final thoughts to you are that patience is it's an essential skill because without it , having all the nutrition knowledge , training , expertise , tracking , diligence in the world will not produce the result . With patience , you give yourself one of the greatest gifts in fitness . It's the thing that is tied to the speed of light that we can't change , and that is time , time , time . You can't change time , so with patience , you actually flex into it . You give yourself time to adapt , you give yourself time for habits to form , you give yourself time for sustainable methods to work , time to build a physique and a lifestyle that you can maintain for life .

Philip Pape 29:47

So , if you take nothing else from today , I want you to remember that your fat loss timeline is probably longer than you think , and that that's actually good news , because the goal guess what ? It isn't to lose fat . It's not , it really isn't . It's to become someone who naturally maintains the healthiest , strongest , leanest physique for you through habits that feel sustainable and that takes time right .

Philip Pape 30:13

Fat loss doesn't have an expiration date . There's no rush , except the artificial one that we create for ourselves . So I want you to take a breath , trust the process , focus on non-zero days being consistent . Don't try to be perfect . Know that with patience , you will reach your goals . Probably not as quickly as you hoped , but much more permanently than you may have thought possible . All right , if you want to build this patience , muscle this skill , with some guidance and support , that will accelerate the process , which sounds ironic since I just talked about patience , but there are accelerators in this world .

Philip Pape 30:51

I invite you to join us in Wits and Weights Physique University , where we will help you develop an approach that aligns with the realities of fat loss . It's going to provide accountability when your patience is tested . That's when you need the support , not when things are going well , and then we can help you celebrate all these forms of progress . Go to witsandweightscom slash physique or click the link in the show notes to learn more . Join . Get the two-week free trial , free first challenge . Join a community of action takers who are in it for the long haul getting those results . Your transformation awaits witsandweightscom slash physique . Until next time , keep using your wits lifting those weights and remember that patience isn't just

Final Thoughts And Transformation Mindset

Philip Pape 31:30

waiting for results . It's building the foundation that makes those results permanent . This is Philip Pape , and you've been listening to the Wits and Weights podcast . I'll talk to you next time .