Philip Pape: 0:00

Let's be honest, we all have insecurities, especially about our body, our fitness, our health, what we eat, our work, the things that we do. We feel like we're being judged all the time, and I wanted to talk about that today and open up about my own imperfections, my own insecurities and how embracing them has been key to my growth. And if you're ready to break free from what usually is some sort of chain of perfectionism like I have have and start celebrating progress in a new way, then I've got you covered in today's episode. Welcome to the Wits and Weights podcast. I'm your host, philip Pape, and this twice a week podcast is dedicated to helping you achieve physical self-mastery by getting stronger, optimizing your nutrition and upgrading your body composition. We'll uncover science-backed strategies for movement, metabolism, muscle and mindset, with a skeptical eye on the fitness industry, so you can look and feel your absolute best. Let's dive right in. Wits and Weights community. Welcome to a bonus episode.

Philip Pape: 1:02

This is going to be a little more unscripted I can't ever go completely unscripted, if you know me but I wanted to talk about some things personal to me my experience in hopes that it will resonate with some of what you're going through in this whole fitness journey and it was inspired by some of the times. We seek external validation, right, and one of the ways that I do that with the podcast is through reviews, right. Podcast reviews something that is almost a make or break for some shows when it comes to what they call social proof. Right, I ask for reviews. Very few people actually want to take the time. You know it takes. It takes a few minutes to do that and then occasionally if somebody has a very strong negative reaction to the show, they will take the time to put in a review. Now, fortunately, we've got it's like a 4.8 out of 10, with maybe one one star review and a couple of twos and threes in there.

Philip Pape: 1:52

But there's one in particular recently that it stung me a little. I did this episode about how the body burns fat and I did a lot of research. I went through the biology of it. I didn't just look it up on Wikipedia, right. I really tried to refresh my understanding of the metabolism, fat oxidation, all that fun stuff in hoping that geeking out on that you guys would find really enjoyable and many of you did. But I got a two star review back then. This was in February. I think the episode came out in January or February and it said not for me. He tried to explain fat burning, but it just sounded like he was summarizing a Wikipedia article. He didn't convey to me that he understood anything that he was saying and I was like, oh, that stung.

Philip Pape: 2:34

But then I realized that, um, you know, we're not. First of all, we're not perfect, uh. Secondly, we can all take there, there's always some truth in what people say but at the same time we have to balance it against the totality of our observations, our experiences, the evidence, and not let any one thing, you know, stick out the signal from the noise, so to speak. If 99 out of a hundred times what you're doing is producing the results you want and one out of a hundred times it doesn't, that's actually a pretty good track record, you know, if you ask me. And even so, that one thing if you're like me, if you're a perfectionist, if you are someone who, you know, likes to focus on constant improvement, it can be a driver. It can be a positive driver rather than a negative driver. And yet it stings in the moment, right. It gets you thinking about your imperfections, your struggles, you question yourself and you know I'm fortunate, being kind of having this optimism bias, just a tendency to be positive about things in general, for whatever reason. Maybe you know it was how I was raised. You know I didn't have any trauma as a child, things like that. I consider myself lucky, I'm grateful for that, such that when negative things happen in the moment I might be a little bit discouraged, but then I I take a breath and try to let that drive my change going forward. And the truth is, despite being a coach and putting out tons of content to help others, you know, optimize and improve and improve their lives, really I want, I want everybody listening to the show to live a long, healthy, fulfilling, strong life. I really do.

Philip Pape: 4:07

This is not I didn't start this podcast, or even my business, to make money. I started it because of something I'm very, very passionate about, very passionate about, and it takes a lot of my time and effort, but I I get into a flow state, I'm engaged, I have meaning, I have purpose when I do it, and so I don't mind. I think it's a wonderful way to, you know, put something into the world, and if you can find something like that for you, all the better. But I'm far from perfect, right my body, my work, what I do. It has flaws, it has asymmetries. There are things that are genetic about me and you that we can't change right.

Philip Pape: 4:42

My diet's not always on point. In fact, oftentimes it's not, and I do preach flexibility on this show so that it doesn't ever have to be totally on point. Let's be honest, it doesn't need to be. Because you've built in some sustainability to it. I don't have to say, okay, now I have to lose weight, let me go do this extreme, really extreme thing for six weeks and go back to this. You know metabolic reset that I did that, quote unquote worked last time, but then I'm going to get back off it and go to here, or I'm going to go do keto, or I'm going to do carnivore and then I'm going to get back to here. So you know you don't have to be on point if you're actually taking a flexible, sustainable approach.

Philip Pape: 5:17

Do I miss workouts? Very, very rarely, right, that is a an issue for some people, but there will be the rare case where, for whatever reason from a schedule perspective or even how I feel I'm like you know what I'm just going to push my training day out one day Um 99, again, 99% of the time that doesn't happen, and if you could be 80% on that is more than sufficient to make tremendous progress. One of my clients recently in her check-in said you know I was. I wasn't perfect, but I was 90% and I'm like. You know, you don't even have to be there Like I. Some clients find it surprising when I give them feedback that say like you're putting too much on yourself.

Philip Pape: 5:54

I love high standards, but let's let's step back and realize that there's this element of sustainability where we integrate what we do. You know how we eat, how we train into our lives. You might have kids, you might be dealing with hormonal struggles of your peri-post-menopause kind of age. You know you might only have so much time to do all your work and to do your training and everything else and there is a happy point that is sustainable for you and even so, we do always have room for improvement. So I want to give you that grace of flexibility and it's okay, right, because perfection is an illusion.

Philip Pape: 6:28

Perfection is an illusion. No one, no matter how successful they seem in the world you see them on social media, you see them in the news no one actually attains perfectionism. Right Behind every polished outcome polished physique on Instagram, is a real human with real struggles and real setbacks, and oftentimes what you see on its face, it's just. It's just the highlight reel, right Of their best moments, their 1% of the time best moments. And what really matters is behind the scenes, showing up, staying consistent, making that progress bit by bit.

Philip Pape: 7:07

And so when something hits me, like the one-star review again going back to that example, because that got me thinking this whole thing in the first place when I read something like that, I get this knee-jerk reaction. I'm defensive and in fact I remember my younger self. For probably the first 10 years of my you know, post-college career, I was a very defensive, know-it-all jerk, like, just being honest, I know that's how I was. I wouldn't treat people with respect. If I knew something, I wanted them to know that I knew it, and if they questioned me, I got defensive. Um, and that is not the way we want to be. And my inner perfectionist would nitpick everything about others, but even about myself, and obsess over every flaw. And it took a lot of work on emotional intelligence, on self-awareness, on asking for feedback and facing the music even critical, constructive, hurtful, sometimes feedback to realize that these are just opportunities to to grow.

Philip Pape: 8:12

I'm a work in progress. So are you right when you zoom out, when you catch yourself in the moment reacting in some way that you're not happy about, that you're not proud about, and you step back and you say you know what? I'm a work in progress. As for me, as a podcaster, as a lifter, as a man, I'm always going to be a work in progress, and that's not something to be ashamed of, not at all. It's something to embrace. That is the human condition. It's an amazing thing. And growth happens when we expand that comfort zone. It's a concept I've talked about many times not going way outside your comfort zone, but just expanding it. When we stop fearing the imperfection and we welcome it as part of the journey, that is when we free ourselves right. That's when we free ourselves to take the risks, to iterate, to improve.

Philip Pape: 8:59

Because if you wait until you're flawless at something you've probably heard the phrase perfect is the enemy of the good. You know, if I waited until I was a flawless podcaster to start the show which I never will be right you wouldn't be listening right now. I wouldn't be at well over 200 episodes. I took messy action. I got a TV tray, a closet with some blankets, an old blue Yeti mic from who knows where. I got it, a cheap laptop and I just did it. I put myself out there and I figured it out along the way.

Philip Pape: 9:28

And right now, if there's something you are not doing, if there's something you're making excuses about and that's what they are I'm not going to start the diet till Monday. I'm not going to do this until Monday. I'm not going to go to the gym and I'm not going to work out until I have access to a good gym. I'm not going to do this until I can get a barbell, whatever you know. I'm not going to do this until we move. I'm not going to do this until my job changes Like those are the excuses that are preventing you from moving forward and taking that messy action and putting it out there and just figuring it out.

Philip Pape: 9:57

Figuring it out If something is blocking you, that's a source of friction that can be removed or reduced Right. And so we think in terms of fitness. You know, when I first touched a barbell, it was in my CrossFit days. This was back in the early um 20, what do they call them 2010s? I guess not the 20 aughts, but the 2010s.

Philip Pape: 10:15

Um, when I first touched a bar, I had never touched it before until I went to CrossFit and my form was terrible. Uh, I could barely squat right. I probably couldn't even squat a hundred pounds, who knows. Um, I probably felt embarrassed, maybe. I mean, I was the kind of person who was like, well, I know I'm clueless here, so I'm just going to accept it, but you may feel embarrassed when you go to the gym, when you see other people. There's an intimidation factor? Uh, there's.

Philip Pape: 10:37

You know you're worried about safety, whatever it is, and you feel you know, watched, right, or self-conscious, training next to more experienced lifters men, women, any age, doesn't matter. You know, if you're a weak dude and you feel you see this guy squatting, you know four, four, uh, four plates and you're like, uh, it doesn't matter, right, you keep showing up and gradually, the strength is going to improve, your skills are going to grow. And me, as a lifter, I know the hard truth. I've been training now for, you know, half a decade, which isn't that long. Half a decade sounds longer than five years, but about five years effectively training and yet, with injuries along the way, with surgeries, with sometimes being in a fat loss phase, sometimes not, you know, you're never on that ideal upward slope. It's going to go up and down, but you've got to keep pushing.

Philip Pape: 11:26

And I'll say, chasing PR. Sometimes that's used as a negative, but there's some form of a PR relative to where you're right now. All right, one of our students in in in the physique university. She had a hernia surgery so she had to stop all lifting for a while and then even getting back into it. She has to ease into it and her strength regressed quite a bit, which is expected when things atrophy and you're not training.

Philip Pape: 11:49

Uh, but we said look, let's, let's reframe this where you are today. Whatever you squatted today. That is your PR right now. And now you're going to chase new PRs, going forward, like it doesn't matter what your PR was six months ago. Right, focus on the skill, fine tune your technique. You know, know that they're going to be failures, but you're going to do everything in your power to do your best. Show up and even if it feels hard, even if you don't feel like it that day, and go do it right, because perfection is not the goal. Progress is Our biggest leaps. Come on the heels of failures, so-called failures. You know we should even just come up with another word for that, right.

Philip Pape: 12:25

The one-star review I told you about that highlighted a blind spot and an area that I can improve in that, even if you want to say it's just one person who's bitter, they only listen to one show. Their perception of that may tell me something about how I research and communicate information. Maybe it doesn't lead to me changing something, but maybe it does, or maybe it sets me down a different path of thought. And that's where the feedback is so, so, so important, right, and that initial sting you might feel from some sort of feedback which, by the way, you should be asking for feedback and seeking it out and opening yourself up to the potential sting of such feedback, because the more you get it, the more you realize it's actually kind of a drop in the bucket on the whole and it can really help you in growing.

Philip Pape: 13:11

So I want to encourage you to embrace your imperfections right In your fitness, in your nutrition, in your life. I want you to celebrate anything that moves the ball forward right, any improvement. Here's what I want you to celebrate. I want you to celebrate effort and I want you to celebrate improvement. So anytime you go ahead and do the thing, it's worth celebrating. And anytime you also improve, it's worth celebrating. And, yeah, you know, being kind to yourself, remembering that all of these things are part of the process. Loving the process, all that's great.

Philip Pape: 13:42

But sometimes I say these things and they come across as platitudes and in reality, you've got to find how to do this. For you, and for some people, that means accountability. Some people that means being in a community, getting a coach right, having someone else who has your back, who has similar goals, and it's hard to find that today. It just, it really is only because, well, it's hard and easy. So it's hard because the vast majority of people I don't know what the number is 95%, 99% of people are not taking care of themselves like they should. Like you want to. That is just the honest truth. People are not aging gracefully, they are not living long, healthy lives, they are being kept alive by medication.

Philip Pape: 14:21

And you are going to break that mold. Okay, you're going to break that mold, and to do that, you need to be different. You're going to be an outlier, you're going to look like a weird person, and so then how do you find other people who are similarly weird? Well, you listen to this podcast for once. Hopefully, I'm one of those, those guys in that group, but it also may be joining our Facebook group. It might be, um, you know, it might be joining physique university, getting a coach just reaching out to me over Instagram and saying, hey, can you help me out? Like we're all in this together.

Philip Pape: 14:53

Do you know how many times every day I talk to people and just share information, like information is free and I don't put it behind a paywall. I don't put it behind any wall. I love to share information. Information's not usually the thing holding people back, however. A lot of people don't have the information to begin with, so it's it's part of what's holding them back. And then, once they get the information, the thing that holds them back is how to implement it Right, and that's where, um, being with like-minded individuals can really help.

Philip Pape: 15:21

But anyway, if you, if you right now, are feeling insecure about anything, especially your body, for example because that's where fitness and health come into play here often Remind yourself all the amazing things your body can do already, not to mention the things it's going to do, because you're on this process that we just talked about. The older you get, the more you take control of how you age. That's what we're doing here, right, fixating on your flaws is not gonna do anything to move you forward. I want you to pour that energy into nourishing yourself, into training hard, into enjoying the journey, all the positive things about your body, even if that means you're going to gain a little weight while you build muscle. So what? You're going to get stronger, you're going to have more muscle, you're going to have better hormones, you're going to feel great, you're going to sleep well, and compare that to your peers and then, yeah, you could do a fat loss phase and lean out, reveal your physique. All that good stuff. That's easy. That's actually easy to do, right, it's easy to do once you put in place the important things like strength training, which so few people do and need to. Everybody needs to be doing it, especially the older you get. So imagine how freeing, how liberating it would feel and it will feel to openly own your imperfections instead of hiding them, to bond with others over these shared struggles instead of comparing these highlight reels on social other, to improve, while accepting that we're all perfectly imperfect humans at the same time.

Philip Pape: 16:56

So here's my challenge to you I want you to examine one insecurity that you're grappling with. How can you reframe it? Okay, my favorite tool of all positive reframing. Some people are listening to this, are laughing. Those in in uh in in Whitson Wates Physique University are cracking up because I talk about it all the time. But it's such a powerful tool.

Philip Pape: 17:11

I want you to reframe that insecurity from from a shameful flaw because that's probably what you think of it as into an opportunity to grow. Right, it's this negative and now it's this positive. And then I want you to shoot me a DM on Instagram at Whitson weights, or send me a text message. You can use the link in the show notes. It says uh, I think it says send me a Q and a question for Q and a, but it's a text.

Philip Pape: 17:34

Shoot me a DM on Instagram at wits and weights, or send me a text message and share with me, if you're comfortable, your how you reframed your shameful flaw into an opportunity to grow and how you're embracing that imperfection, because that takes vulnerability right, it takes vulnerability and that vulnerability you know what it does Is it shifts power from other people back to you. Isn't that amazing? It shifts power any power that someone else has to you, because now you're saying you know what I own, this, this is mine. I don't give a whatever what other people say, this is mine and whatever was just standing for an expletive Cause. You guys, I do not know. I do not use a potty language on this show, even though I've had guests that do as well, but it's a streak that I want to keep going on and I'm doing that for my kids. That's it, in case they want to listen to these in the future.

Philip Pape: 18:29

All right, so if this, if this episode, resonated with you I know it was different. This was more stream of consciousness, sharing my thoughts. If you enjoyed it, I would be very grateful if you could give me some external validation. No, all jokes aside, leave a five star rating and review on Apple, right, like? Add to the feedback. That was positive, if that's what your experience was.

Philip Pape: 18:51

Now, if you're listening to this, you're like, oh, I should give them more one-star reviews. How about you just reach out to me and tell me why? I will personally reach out back to you, ask for feedback on how I can improve. If it all makes sense, I'm going to tell you my action plan for improving it and I'll let you listen to an episode where I did that, and then you can give me your review in Apple and I don't care what it is at that point, because we'll have gone through the process together of feedback and growth. So if you can give me a five-star review, share what you loved about the episode, even if it wasn't perfect. It helps this podcast reach more people who may need to hear this message right, just like embracing our own imperfections. If we celebrate progress over perfection with what we do on this show, with reaching more people, we can support more on this journey.

Philip Pape: 19:35

All right, I hope this episode served as a reminder. Wherever you're at right now, wherever you are right at this moment, you are actually doing great. You're doing great I know you are because you listen to this show and you're ready to take action. You're not just binging information. You're going to implement it. You're going to implement it, and so today's your baseline and tomorrow's going to be your first PR and the next day after that a PR, and so on. You're going to keep showing up. You're going to put in the reps, You're going to focus on that progress and you'll get a little wiser and a little stronger every day for the rest of your life. One star reviews and all. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Wits and Weights. If you found value in today's episode and know someone else who's looking to level up their wits or weights, please take a moment to share this episode with them, and make sure to hit the follow button in your podcast platform right now to catch the next episode. Until then, stay strong.